Two weeks

All I can say right now is WOW! Wow because life with two children has been quite the adjustment. There have definitely been a few moments where I have wondered, "What on earth were we thinking?!" At first it was stressful because Garrett who LOVES his little brother also loves to lay on him, pull on his arms and legs, try to stand on the couch when Ethan is laying next to us on it, and the list goes on. While he has gained a small understanding of how delicate Ethan is, I can only hope that it gets a little better or at least that we still have our sanity while waiting for Ethan to get a little sturdier. I should just resign to the fact that it might not get better until they're adults :)

I have been warned, for lack of a better word, of what this would be like. I've heard that although one kid feels like one kid, two feels like ten. That it seems easier on the outside then it is on the inside and I would have many feelings coursing through my body, worrying that I'm not giving enough attention to my first born and that at the same time my newest little one is spending too much time laying on their back while I tend to ten other things. No amount of warnings however could have prepared me for what this has been like.

To top things off poor Garrett has also come down with a case of pneumonia  Luckily oh so luckily on the days that he has stayed home with me rather than going to preschool my mom was in town and able to help. Most days she brought my grandma with her and that made life even a little easier since she wanted to hold Ethan all day long. Along with the pneumonia Garrett's attitude has been anything but easy to manage. He is constantly yelling at people to stop talking, throwing huge temper tantrums and being all around difficult. At this time its hard to tell if its a result of his sickness or if this is him adjusting to the baby. I'm sad with the thought that my happy toddler is gone because we brought home the baby. There have been times when I am with one and wish the other was with someone else, that I don't feel I can handle them both at the same time together. I just want to play with Garrett and not worry about what Ethan needs. Or I want to hold Ethan and not worry about what Garrett needs.To say this makes me feel like a bit of a shoddy mother is putting it lightly, but thankfully I have other mommies to vent to and The Bump to show me that I'm not the only one out there thinking, "HOLY CRAP WHAT DID WE DO??" So for now I will spend as much time with each of my babies as I can and just be thankful for what we have.